Take My Advice!

Well I never

Really I think you have

She acted shocked that I would call her out

That I would be perfectly, bluntly honest

Maybe she never had anyone be completely honest with her

Maybe she never thought someone would give her back a measure of her own medicine

She had it coming

That is the truth of the matter

Since she brought it out in the public square

It was well within the realm of my rights to take care of it publicly

I took the high road

I told her she was right

That she was smarter than me

That being so smart her route was easy

Take or leave it

Stay the course and do the work

Or go away

It was my class and I was responsible to teach it

To all the students

Fairly and equally

With no partiality

That shut her up

Backed her down

Looking back

I ponder

Did I make my point or just make her mad

I felt I had spoken well

Yet with time and distance

I see she needed

A way to save face

A way back into good graces

Even though I left the door open

Did she feel she was welcome to come in

At the time I was a new adjunct professor at a community college and was learning my way around the delicate realm of relationships between adult teachers and adult students. It was a dance to be confident and in charge while allowing the students to have a hand in creating the classroom dynamics.

This young woman blew me away with her crass attitude that she was smarter than I was and therefore, didn’t feel the need to have to take a class from someone beneath her intellect. She was rude and disrespectful to me in front of the entire class. I told her that I agreed that she was smarter than I was but that I had been hired to teach the class based on my qualifications and experience. In addition, since she was so smart the work should be easy for her and she should have no problem getting an A. However, she would still need to do the work in order to earn an A, because it was not my policy to give anyone a grade. I then offered for her to find another instructor if doing the work for me was not to her liking. It was a short but memorable exchange.

On the one hand, I felt that I handled it perfectly but on the other, I am not sure that I didn’t wound her spirit. Therefore, I hope you never are called out publicly so that you have to defend yourself publicly. However, if you are that you will handle it with all confidence and guts while allowing the other person a way out.

Hey, wait, I think I did :)?

Angels do you have anything to add:

Yes dear ones. The issue here is not right or wrong but that one butting heads with another creates battle. From that, it is difficult to win. Even though you were within your rights, where did that leave both of you?

We say that when these difficult situations come up you must pour love over it and allow that to guide you. There will always be difficult people. There will always be those who think they know more than you. They will always be around. Yet, you must shore up these relationships because you are the one that knows about love. Love covers a multitude. Being loving is more important than being right.

Be love, loves

Be love

The Angels

Thank you angels for your advice. It is more important to be loving than to be right. May we find ourselves responding in love. Love builds relationships and fosters understanding. We need more love. So, let’s be those conduits of love!

To the student, fourth row back, please know that you were and are right; you are smart, so very smart and I’m sorry if I made you feel less than stellar that day. Sending you love and angels.

Love,

Juju

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3 thoughts on “Take My Advice!

  1. Hi Juju, it’s really difficult to find a balance between being lovely to others and being respectful to ourselves. I think you were right in relation to this woman, if she was so smart what was she doing there? We need to be nice and respectful to others, but most important is to be true to ourselves.

    Like

    • At the time, I felt that I was well within my rights, however hindsight has allowed me to see that I really could have been more loving toward her.
      She needed the class to get her degree. It was her choice if she wanted to take the class from me or another instructor; which is what I told her.
      She put me in a difficult spot to be sure. It is a challenge to be loving toward those who attack us. Yet, that is just the type of challenge we should welcome and rise to.

      Liked by 1 person

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